Never Assume??

I'm sure you've heard the saying:

When you assume you make an Ass of U and Me

Good advice right? I would have to agree, most of the time. But there IS an assumption that I think is VERY wise to make. One that can save a lot of hassle and relationship damage. I've always found it to be extremely helpful, when faced with a situation that is not going as expected, to ASSUME there is something I don't understand.

In other words, when someone has done something that makes you angry, or doesn't seem quite right, it's best to approach the situation from the standpoint that there may very well be SOME circumstance you don't know about which makes this behavior understandable, and quite possibly acceptable.

So instead of just giving someone a piece of your mind, start out by calmly asking a few questions. Explain at a high level what your concern is and ask the other party to 'help you understand' what's really going on. This shows the other party that you trust and respect them enough to assume they had a good reason for whatever it was they did. Because for the most part, people do.

You will find that approaching a situation this way makes a world of difference in the reaction and cooperation you get from the people you are working with. Even if you find that you understand the situation perfectly and still have a problem with it, just giving the other party a chance to explain what's going on without having to defend themselves goes a long way toward diffusing a potentially combative situation.

So next time you pick up that phone or step into that office, do it with the intention of finding out what it is that you don't understand.