And you are???

There is an interesting phenomenon in the world of business. One that makes traditional methods of communication largely ineffective. This effect if ignored or unacknowledged can wreak havoc on a person's productivity, self-esteem and perceived value. What I'm talking about is something that many people perceive, but few seem to bring to a conscious level. It's the realization that:

If I want to talk to you, chances are you don't want to talk to me.

No, it's not a conspiracy theory, or a new-age 'less is more' type philosophy. The fact of the matter is that in business everyone has a job to do, and objective to accomplish. To make things happen in the business world, you have to get people to do things for you. In order to do this you have to communicate with them, build relationships, communicate your needs.

In the meantime, these same people are looking around for those people who can do things for them. If you are not one of those people, and lets face it not many business relationships are truly two way streets, then it's likely there will be other people on their list of calls to make.

Nowhere is this behavior more obvious than at a company sponsored social event. Everyone is jockeying to get close to their bosses and key clients, who are busily searching the room for the VIPs THEY want to be seen with. So off they go with you trailing after them like a lost puppy, because hey, they might just introduce you to some REALLY important people.

And what if YOU'RE the one everyone wants to see? What if you are surrounded by an attentive crowd? Well most likely what that means is that everone in the room wants something from YOU. Nice for the ego, but potentially not a lot of help in achieving your own objectives.

So is all this a bad thing? Something we can turn around with a management fad-of-the-week? No, it's just reality and being aware of it can help you adjust your communication styles to be more effective. In other words, realize that they can help you more than you can help them. Don't waste a lot of their time. Make your communications quick and concise and then let them get on with the important business of chasing down the people that can help THEM.